Weary

Fairhaven Lake prom this morning

I’m really tired, I think the combined effects of a cold, lack of sleep and lack of meds is taking it’s toll on me and I guess there’s a little lingering depression floating around.  I’m not sure of the source of the depression and it’s very mild but it’s likely to be a combination of factors, some after effects from withdrawing from the pregabalin, being a little lonely and just adjusting to retirement.  I’ve not yet built up the time reserves and energy to find some really absorbing retirement project and I’m not keen on travelling right now either, or doing lots of exercise.  So I’m drifting along, keeping busy and working on my health, confident that all will be well in a few weeks time.

But I have kept busy! I woke at about 7am this morning having gone to sleep at about 1am and went straight to Caffe Nero, then I went swimming and enjoyed it despite the continued challenging shoulder pain.  Next I walked to Fairhaven Lake, hoping the cafe would be open, but I was disappointed, so I walked back through the dunes and stocked up with fruit at M&S.

Once home I did the washing, cleaned the car, picked a weeks supply of Apples, fed my worms, did the washing up and the vacuuming, watched some Stargate Universe (this show is dark!), cleaned the floors, had a nap and did some reading.  I’m waiting now for Debbie to get home so we can head out to Toby’s for dinner.

There are two simple pleasures that I’ve discovered in retirement, afternoon naps and evening walks.  The naps give me more energy in the evening and the walks, from 9-10pm give me a way to burn off some of that energy.  If we could find a way to eat dinner earlier, I’d like to get into the habit of taking an evening swim – in the pool – as well.  The other highlight is freedom, not having anything cluttering up my diary has been great, but it’s also a challenge because I need to find things to fill my days, thankfully I had nearly 10 years of practice in doing this at work, but I was always happiest at work when I was busy, rather than self driven.  I’m going to have to find something to drive towards soon, but I need to balance that with being easy on myself so that I have the energy to keep my diet clean, my movement frequent and my mind relaxed.

I’ve been considering joining the Ramblers and/or the CTC but I’m holding off for now for a few reasons, I’m not much of a joiner, don’t like big groups – unless I’m leading them – I’m still not fit enough and I’m not sure I want to fill my diary up with scheduled events.  I think I will decide by the end of the year.